Stir-Fried Random

Ethnic origin: hacker culture/East Asia
Difficulty: Elementary
Serves: 2 refined ladies, or 1 Viking
Price: Cheap (<$1/person)

This is quite simple to make when you're on your own and don't have a lot of cash lying around. In theory, this is best made in a wok, but a frying pan works perfectly well. If you're at your parents' house, or have a lot of food lying around for some other reason, you can use whatever's in the fridge and needs to be eaten. Essentially, throw it in a frying pan, cook it 'till it's done, then eat it!

If, on the other hand, your fridge is empty, you'll want to pick up the following: ramen (not the cup kind, the rectangular kind, normally used for soup); vegetables (frozen mixed works well, as they're already cut up); and some protein (eggs and/or meat - ground beef works well, but you can use anything small enough to stir-fry).

The following makes one Cap'n-sized serving, equivalent to about two cereal bowls. It's pretty solid food, so most o' you landlubbers will get two lunches out of it. Those of you who have mastered the ancient art of multiplication can feed as many people as necessary simply buy buying and cooking more ingredients.

Equipment: Frying pan or wok, of a size appropriate to the amount of food you're making
Instrument suitable for stir-frying, such as a wooden spoon or cooking spatula

Ingredients:
1 Package Ramen
1 Tbsp Vegetable Oil
2 Eggs
3/4 Cup Frozen Vegetables
(Optional Seasoning:)
1 Cube Boullion (beef or chicken - preferably matching the ramen)
Powdered garlic, onion, and/or chili to taste
Soy sauce
Parmesan Cheese

If your ramen came with a seasoning packet, put it aside. Put the ramen in just enough water to cover it. Undercook, then drain (in a microwave, about 3 minutes should do it; you can also do it right in the frying pan if you're feeling bold.) The idea is to have the noodles be flexible but chewy, as they'll be cooked more later. Set the noodles aside for now.
If eggs make you nervous, crack them into a small bowl, then use a fork to mix well in advance.
Pour the oil in the frying pan. Crumble the boullion and mix it in, or, if you insist on perfectly even seasoning, dissolve it in a small amount of hot water, then add it to the oil.
Over medium-to-low heat (just enough to keep up a nice sizzle), perform the following steps:
If you're using meat, fry it most of the way now.
If you're using frozen vegetables, break into small chunks and put them in now.
Start stir-frying the ramen. Just keep it from burning until you see it get a little softer and start to change color. If it starts to dry out, add more oil or soy sauce.
If you're using room-temperature vegetables, stir them in now.
Add dry seasonings (except parmesan cheese). This is where the packet of ramen seasoning comes in handy - if you're not in a fully stocked kitchen, it's all you really need.
Just before everything looks to be done, clear a small space in your frying pan, lower the heat a bit and add the eggs. Scramble and break up into tiny chunks, then mix the eggs with the rest of it.
Remove from heat. Serve and add soy sauce/cheese to taste.


This is something that, I find, tastes pretty good even if you don't use what you'd call quality ingredients, so, it's pretty economical. Also, the 1 cup of veggies is a guess - I never actually "measure" per se, so much as keep adding things until the proportions look like something I would want to eat. But, the 2-eggs-to-1-package-of-ramen thing works pretty well.
Keep in mind that frozen veggies have a bit of water in them, which helps keep things even; if you're using dry, fresh vegetables you'll probably want to add more liquid periodically, even more so than may already be necessary. Also, the assumption here is that you're using peas, corn, and/or chopped mixed frozen vegetables; if you want to use broccoli, or some such, it may require more cooking (i.e. put it in earlier.)

Let me know if anyone actually tries this, and what variations you use. I myself found out the hard way that pearl onions, while potentially delicious, can induce a feeling of SUDDEN LARGE UNCOOKED VEGETABLE if you just throw them in along with everything else.

Happy Eating!