Gospel's Root Beer Recipe

You must print out the following VERBATIM, including this introduction:

TAKE:
2 lbs unrefined sugar (the brown, tasty kind)
2 lbs granulated sugar (the white, crunchy kind)
1 lb. (a standard-size 16 oz. bottle) molasses
1 gallon of water per pound of sugar
1 (or more!) deal of root beer/sarsparilla/birch beer extract
A whosawhatsits of CO2

PUT:
The water in the keg. Hot. Really hot. Hot as it comes out of the faucet.
The sugar in the water. Stir it around a bunch with a long stirring implement (one should be bought for this purpose. 3+ ft. long)
The extracts in the sugarwater. To taste, it is obligatory that all pledges/new members participate in the tasting process. Remember: the "root-beer-iness" gets sharper as it ages!
The lid on the keg. Try and get a solid seal. You can tell if it hisses when you fill the thing.
The CO2 into the keg. Then, pull the ring to let the CO2 out of the keg.
The CO2 into the keg and let it out a bunch of times. Like 5. This ensures maximum CO2-ness.
The keg somewhere cold.

WAIT:
For a while. Like, a week. Fill with CO2 often. Roll the keg around as much as possible.

MAKE:
Alison (for future Xenians, insert name of current president emeritus here: ___________) tap the keg.

DRINK:
But very...very...carefully...

Love,
Gospel, President Emeritus of Xenia, President '06-'07, VP '05-'06, Russian Pledge Chair, '04-'05, and Way Too Into the Fact That He Did Those Things.

Please sign below to indicate that you have READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS, and so will NEVER PESTER GOSPEL FOR THEM AGAIN